September 2009 - People Are Weird

People are Weird

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People are Weird - September 2009

Roux Defends the Rights of all Dogs

September 22nd 2009 03:08

I Watch Everything!

My friends Daisy and Scratchy have petitioned their Big Boss, Mr. Champion, to have a blog of their own. This is their right! If a Dog learns to use a typie thing, and can make a blog (that's what mom calls these things) then they have the right to have their very own accounts on Orble, just like I do, and they have a right to write anything they want. Even Heidi and Clyde should be making these blog things, they could write about life in the country and how hard it is for them not to chase the funny things their mum raises for something royal or something.

Now, us dogs are so much better at this because we are always aware of what is going on around us. That's why we can wake up from a dead sleep and be barking at the back door, and then the front door, in fractions of people type seconds. We sleep very deeply sometimes, but we are always ready to wake up to a disturbance, well most of us are, Zeus tended to sleep until I woke him up, and I've heard that many greyhounds are like that, they like to sleep a whole lot but after all the running they do they have a lot of catching up to do.

But that's why they have us Poodle Dogs to help them, you see we always know when to bark, although mom says that sometimes I just bark to make noise, that's not true, I really did hear something, regardless of how far away it might have been.

Rights of dogs, the right to blog; the right to sleep where they choose; closing doors should not be allowed, if a dog chooses to sleep with her people then they should be allowed to do so, because the dog protects those people, even greyhounds do, just because they are very big and people don't know them very well, and to my friends, I'm sorry but most of you greyhound types just aren't the best of watch dogs, some of you would greet a robber with kisses and ask for scratches. But that's because you are so friendly and it isn't your fault. But if someone was threatening your people you'd turn into a fast bitting machine and ripe those people into little shreds. As well you should.

Another right, digging holes where they choose. Another friend of mine, he's really just a puppy about six months, and he's called a Great Dane, and mom says he'll be even bigger than Zeus when he's grown up, and he's almost as big as Zeus now. Anyway, he decided to sleep in the bed next to the stairs, where his friend Cloe sleeps. So he started out sleeping in the space between the stairs and this bed. The he finally decided that this bed, had to be more comfortable, he'd seen what it looked like when his mom took the top off, so one night he took the top off, and curled up in there. It was much softer, smelled really nice and he could get well covered in the dirt, cause it was so soft and a little sticky.

When his mom came out the next morning with her coffee, which he likes but she won't share, but sometimes forgets and leaves hers where he can get it, but that's not the point, Hamlet, being a puppy was still curled up in his new bed when his mom came out, and she woke him up, it seems that she didn't want him sleeping in the nice soft, smelly bed she was growing something called worms in it. But she laughed a lot, and put the top back on, but he can't take it off anymore because she put hooks or something on it, he's currently working on the screen that's on top of the top, he thinks that with a little effort he can pull that off and get back in the nice bed. As he should be allowed to do.

Digging holes and sleeping where they choose, these are undeniable rights for all dogs.

Another right for dogs is to bite people who are mean to them. Dogs no longer should be nice and subservient to people who are mean to them, hit them, or even starve them. Dogs are now allowed not only to bite them, but to run away and find a better place with better people. If the person they bite complains the officials of the people should automatically believe that the dog had a reason and then they should arrest (a term mom used) the person and make them do what ever the dog was made to do. If the dog was beaten then beat the person who did it, if he starved the dog, then he should get exactly the amount of water and food the dog got. If he never cleaned where the dog slept, and had him chained up so the dog couldn't more away from where he lived and slept to do his business (i.e poo, pee, etc) then the same should be done to the person. You get the idea. I've heard that some people believe in an eye for an eye, and I think dogs might want to start thinking the same way.

Finally, at least for tonight, all Dogs have the right to believe in the Great Doggess if they want. Their people can't remove this right, they can't restrain the dog when it is time to howl at the Great Doggess, every month when the big shiny thing the is big at night is as big as it can get. Dogs howl to praise the Great Doggess and this is something that is denied to many dogs. It is wrong.

Next time I'll write about a dogs right to pick the food they want to eat and how much they want to eat. Too many people pick yucky food, and then don't give us as much as we want. That's wrong.

Have a good night, curl up with your dog(s) and have a good sleep, good naps with your dog(s), and cuddles with your dog(s).

Roux

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Dog Habits That People Don't Like

September 20th 2009 01:37

My Wisdom Face

Dogs have many habits that are necessary to their daily lives. They must practice these rituals it is essential because it has been decreed by the Great Doggess, she who decided which dog will be with a person alone and which will be with a person who has more than one dog, or even other animals. The great Doggess also decides where a dog lives, in what conditions he or she will live, and she does not choose that dogs live with mean or cruel people, those are the ones, not the dogs, but the people, who deceive her by being nice to other people and even children and pretend to like the pets of other people. Unfortunately the Great Doggess is easy to fool that way because being the Great Doggess, she has all the dog habits, just bigger and better. So she tends to trust people. But I promise you eventually the mean and cruel will have to face her, and she won't be kind and gentle.

But that isn't what I plan on writing about today. Today, I'm going to write about the habits that dogs have that people don't really understand and in some cases don't like. So I'll try to explain.

1. Sniffing butts. This is important to a dog to identify the dog they are meeting, it helps us to understand a new dog and whether or not he or she is trustworthy. Also, sometimes the smells tell the boys is the girls might want to be romantic, but not always. Girls are very picky regardless of what people think, if we don't want a boy dog sniffing or they sniff too much we just sit down. That makes the boy dogs really weird, they don't understand, but you see boy dogs aren't as smart as girl dogs.

2. Eating poop, puppies, other dogs', their own. Why do we do this? It's a throw back to when we didn't have people homes. We'd do this to hide where we were, it would hide the den and the puppies. Now we do it out of habit. Of course, we do it for the puppies to clean them up, and also to help them poop when they are too small to do it themselves without our help. A quick aside on this habit, people get really upset with us when we eat cat poop from the box where they go potty. Well if you'd let us eat the food you feed them we wouldn't eat the poop. We like cat food in any shape and form we can get it. You may not understand this but that's the way it is.

3. Eating, why do some of us eat fast and some eat slow, some just nibble and others gobble all at once. Well, those of us who eat really fast, it's usually an insecurity, someone else may eat it first, this usually comes from when we were puppies and had to climb over our litter mates to get to mom's food thingy. Sometimes it would be very hard, especially if you were the smallest. While we all get fed, some of the bigger ones would eat a lot more. So they eat really fast now, the used to be small ones.

Those who just nibble, they are just fooling around, they will wait and sneak more food later if it is left down, or if there are other dogs in the house, they will go to their food and try to eat some of it, but they will never let any other dog eat from their dishes.
There are the ones who gobble all their food at once, not just fast but the ones who when the food is put down by the people, inhale it and then cough it up and eat it again. That's caused by insecurity too, but usually because they live with a nibbler who tries to steal their food.

4. Digging holes in the garden. For some reason people seem to think that when we dig in their flower beds we are just playing, but you see we probably hear something down in there, plus the people were digging in there so their must be something good down there, maybe something to eat, something to play with, maybe a bone. You get the idea We dig, it's one of the things we do.

5. Chasing cats. Now not all of us do this, just some. Greyhounds are quite prone to chase not just cats but almost anything with white butts. It's the training they get from racing. But it's also because they are what people call sight hounds, their noses aren't as good as us poodles. Don't misunderstand we poodles will chase things too but not because they have white butts, but because we are hunters, it's what we were bred to do, hunt things, of course we were really bred to return what we chased.

6. Eating grass to throw up. We don't eat grass to throw up, we eat it because we like the taste, or what might be on it, we throw up because grass doesn't really agree with our stomachs.

7. Playing and then fighting. Sometimes when we play we'll forget that we shouldn't play too rough, and we'll bite or something. Well, when we do that it can turn into a full blown fight, we don't intend to start something, it just happens. Of course, this is because none of us likes being bitten, and we really don't like having our butts bitten, so we have to retaliate. If there are more than just the two of us, then the others take sides and we revert to the pack mentality and the fight's on. The best way to stop this, is water, hose us off and we'll stop, because most of us don't like water in the face.

8. Why do some of us sleep on our backs and then pass gas? Well if we have excess gas it's gotta go somewhere so we let it out, other wise our tummies would bloat and that can be a bad thing. We don't understand why you people are always embarrassed by gas. Now I understand that a greyhound can clear a large room with their gas and having been exposed to it I know that's true. But my mom discovered a solution to that, she always added extra protein to the high protein food she feeds us, not much but enough to make the gas go away. It seems to work, but it takes the fun out of being able to gross out the people especially when mom has company who doesn't understand dogs or other pets.

9. Stealing peoples stuff, like shoes, food, pillows, whatever. We steal peoples stuff because it tastes good, it's comfy and most importantly it smells and tastes like our people. We like the comfort of having our peoples stuff, and we love their food, so sometimes we steal it. Mom won't let me play with her shoes even her old ones, but she does tie old socks in a knot so I can play with that, but I'd rather steal her pillows, and when she gets up during the night I always try to steal her spot in bed, it's really warm and sometimes, when I don't take her whole side, she let's me stay and pulls the blankies over both of us, I like that a lot.

10. Dogs, sniff each other, even lick each other, they will run and play with each other and our people are afraid that we'll get in trouble. Well this is simple dogs like friends of their own kind. I have four greyhound friends, they live in a country named Australia, which mom says is far away, very far away. I want to meet them but mom says we can't afford to go there, I don't know what that means but I guess we can't go visit them. That saddens me because they are greyhounds, which are my favorite dogs, even though I'm a poodle dog, I'm also an honorary greyhound because I've lived with two and been best friends with them and I know how they play. My friends are Heidi, Clyde, and their newest foster (whatever that means) Paul, and then there are Daisy and Scratchy, they live with a Mr. Champion, who writes about greyhounds, sometimes but lately he's been weird.

I know there are a lot of other things you people don't know or understand about us dogs, but I think this might be long enough for now, my paws aren't used to this typing thing, and mom won't help. She said this was my idea so I'd just have to deal with it. Personally I think that's being a little stuffy, or maybe even snobby. Except my mom is neither stuffy or snobby, so I think she's just trying to teach me something but darned if I know what. She always typed for me when I had to answer any of my friends to comment on one of Mr. Champions posts. But somehow this must be different. If any of you figure it out please let me know, I'm very curious and she won't tell me. She just says, “You have to figure it out yourself, you wanted to write a blog, you write the blog. That's what I have to do.” So I figure there's a lesson there but I just can't figure it out.

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Hey I'm a dog, who knows us better?

September 19th 2009 03:25

Zeus with Stolen Blankets & Pillows

A brief introduction to my buddy Zeus. He was, as you can see, a greyhound and he was a clown, a thief and mom called him Thunderfoot because when he came into the house after going outside to do the necessary, he'd come in and race down the house and spin around in the living room so mom would laugh. She always laughed when he'd do his spins, he loved spinning and jumping up on his back legs like a horse rearing in the air, he was funny and handsome too.

Zeus came to live with us about three or so years ago and at first he didn't appear friendly, I'd try to get him to play and he'd growl a lot, but it turned out he never learned to play and greyhounds who have raced tend to play rough, Zeus had never raced he was bred as a show dog.

Mom always told him he was very handsome, and he fulfilled his purpose in that, it wasn't his fault he had a slight overbite and his bottom teeth were not perfect, they could have been fixed but obviously whoever had him didn't care at all about how handsome he was, if they had to use money to make him even more perfect. Mom was always angry about that but she never told me why.

Zeus Comfortable on the Couch

Zeus's favorite thing to do was sleep in the bed with me and mom. At firs he wasn't allowed on he bed, mom said it was because he was a foster, but she didn't tell me what that meant. So Zeus and I shared the Couch, he got more of it than I did because he was a whole lot longer.

After almost a year with us mom said Zeus would be staying, he was now a full member of the family, this meant he could sleep on the bed as long as he'd share with both of us and not try to take my place. Well, I'll tell you that sneaky big hound, he'd kick in his sleep and he always had his big clumsy feet pointing in my direction when he did. So who had to move? Me, because, mom was usually asleep when he did this.

But the funniest night was the one when Zeus curled up with mom, he slept length wise against mom's back, he was all stretched out, and he had his head on her neck. Well, evidently Zeus was dreaming and breathing heavily and he woke mom up, and she jumped really jumped and moved away from Zeus and turned to look and see who was cuddled up against her. She laughed when she realized that it was Zeus. Later I heard her tell one of her people friends that she couldn't figure out how someone sneaked into the house and was laying in the bed and breathing down her neck. Zeus only did this a few more times, then he decided he started sleeping sideways on the bed. Mom used to have to get up and make him move because he tried to take up the whole bed and she didn't allow that.

It was always fun when Jerry came over and got on Zeus's side of the bed, because then I could curl up between both Jerry and mom, but Zeus couldn't. But he'd try, he'd try really hard to fit in, but he couldn't quite curl up tight enough. Then I'd get down to go outside and he'd take his chance to lay down between them, length wise of course. It was funny to see the big white dog, stretched out between Big Man Jerry and Not Tiny Mom.

I wish there was a picture of it, but alas, only mom and Jerry took pictures after But one night mom took one of the three of us, Jerry, Zeus and me in bed, but I tried to get away but mom made me stay put, Zeus, the clown smiled as usual, he loved cameras

They almost fit, Mom was shoved out

We loved visiting Wanda because she had a big land place where we could run and she had a stream running down near a bunch of trees, mom and Jerry and Wanda would take food down there, and stuff to drink and they'd get silly and we'd run and we'd get in the water and make a mess and dig in the mud, but Zeus had the most fun, he'd get in the deepest place of the stream and lay down and splash with his tail and then he get up and splash with Skippy who lived with Wanda and looked a lot like Zeus except he was much smaller, mom has pictures but can't find them, maybe someday I'll get her to hunt harder so I can put them in a writing thing.

So that's a short colorful, I hope story about my friend Zeus, who I still miss and who mom still misses, but we're doing good we have each other.