also lol but less lol
i still have a crush on my best friend and we're pretty tight these days, but i can't know/predict her feelings towards me at all. its way too risky to outwardly try and start a relationship with her, or even ask her out on a date, her friendship is actually one of the coolest things about my life right now. i am enjoying life and i dunno, i'd be actually emo and lonely without her friendship. i sound gushy. soz.
edit: okay emo is OTT but you know. I'd be WAY embarrased if she/anyone else found this.
oh i don't hate myself very much anymore. it's all her fault, def. actually it isn't, other HOBBY things are making me happy too. I don't know. You need good friends to be happy. I just have to sort out if she is going to be JUST a friend in my mind or if I'm going to waste a few years of my life pining over her.
edit: okay emo is OTT but you know. I'd be WAY embarrased if she/anyone else found this.
oh i don't hate myself very much anymore. it's all her fault, def. actually it isn't, other HOBBY things are making me happy too. I don't know. You need good friends to be happy. I just have to sort out if she is going to be JUST a friend in my mind or if I'm going to waste a few years of my life pining over her.
