RouxBad Mom, Bad!
October 2nd 2009 06:41
Roux, Poodle Dog Extraordinary
Yes, that's right my Mom's bad. Why, because she wouldn't let me have the laptop computer until really late at night and it's my bed time. Also, she won't give me the cable to download pictures to my blog and there's one I have to show to make the point of this story. Besides that's Mom's being mean. Most laptops take the little thingy that you make the pictures on with a digital camera, and Mom's does too but, would you believe that's Mom's camera thingy that the pictures are on doesn't fit in the laptop place? How silly is that?
Mean Mom, Mean
Now, I wanted to post a very important picture of the silly looking dog Mom brought home on Monday, I think. Yeah, Monday, that's the day she took me to that place where they drown me in water with stuff the bubbles all over my coat and then they, you won't believe this, they shave all my beautiful hair off. I just don't know why they do that, but every once in a while Mom will say something like, "Roux, you are starting to look like a Portuguese Water Dog, time to get groomed." Now I thought I knew what grooming was, I thought it was when I turned over and had Mom scratch my tummy, but I'm beginning to think I'm wrong. I think the water drowning thing has something to do with it.
Well, this Monday, while I was being watered down a strange little dog, almsot the same color as I am, but lighter, came in, and he was a mess. His coat was all snarled and dirty, and he, would you believe, smelled, badly, not a good smell. Well, they got me out of the water and started drying me, which I must admit I love, and they unceremoniously dumped this scruffy little dog into clean water. Not nice dirty, muddy water, like we all enjoy so much, and might have helped the obnoxious smell, but clean, sparkling clean, water. Then they made bubbles all over his coat and did it all over.
My Drawing of the Silly Little Dog, Max
The silly little twit seemed to actually enjoy the whole process. Now I'm not saying that I don't enjoy it a little, it does feel good to be sprayed with nice warm water, but they don't dump me in a whole tub or sink full of clean, sparkling water. Well, after bubbling him three times, they got him out of the tub, which they had changed the water in each time they sprayed him before bubbling him again, they let him out and stood around talking about him. They did rub him with towels, but they didn't give him a nice warm blower to make him warm and fuzzy like it does me. They did something I was appalled by, they took him to that silly table that they stand all of us on and then shave our hair, but they didn't try to shave his hair, they took those sharp things Mom calls scissors and started cutting his hair, but they were much more careful than I thought was necessary, until I saw the sore on his back. It was awful. The people were calling it a “hot spot” I don't know what that means, but it must have been very uncomfortable and sore because he tried to snap at the lady cutting his hair a couple of times, and I was really surprised, she didn't even get angry. Well after most of his hair was cut off, then they put him in a warm crate with a blowing thing.
When they were done with that they took both of us out, I took longer to dry because they didn't cut my hair first, and they took the buzzing things and started to shave my hair and what was left of his, except for a silly fringe type stuff around his tummy, legs and a mustache and eyebrows that stick up. He was almost better off all tangled up and dirty. I mean I've never seen anything so silly, outside of those horrible pictures of Poodle Dogs that Mom showed me one day.
Anyway, when they were done with us, they put us in crate things next to each other, and he laid down to nap, and I waited for Mom to come, she was usually prompt in coming to get me and I always heard her voice, this time I did too, but the people in the room where I was waiting didn't take me out to go to her, no they left me right in there. Then Mom came in and let me out and I was ready to go, I kept telling her, trying to lead her out with the leash thing that she uses on my collar, but she didn't this time, this time she took me and the silly little dog next to me out back. I just kept asking and asking to go home. I put my head in her lap, and I whined a little, that always melts her heart, but not this time. She kept saying something about going out and meet Max. I had no idea who Max was nor did I know what she was talking about. I'd been gone half the day and I wanted to go home drink some water and take a nice long nap. Meanwhile Mom is up and walking towards a big crate thing where there is a noisy dog who has the nerve to bark at me, and bark and ask Mom to visit with him, I mean the nerve we had not be introduced and he didn't know my Mom so he had no business asking her to talk to him or pat him either. Rude, some of these dogs.
Meanwhile I noticed that the little funny looking dog was running all over the yard and was, excuse me, peeing all over everything he sniffed out, he even pooped once, which seemed to make Mom happy. She was calling him, I finally figured out Max was the silly little dog, but he was ignoring her, until, he started coming her way. He actually was answering to her call. Then she took a strange leash thing and put it on his collar, but she hadn't put mine on me yet, I had to wonder if she meant to take me home at all. I mean, she put a leash on a strange, funny looking, little dog and not on me. I was the one she was supposed to be taking home not him.
Then she surprised me, she opened the door to the place where they cut my hair and said, “Well! Are you coming?” She didn't even attach the leash thing to my collar but she invited me to come anyway. She was taking the little dog back in for the people there, but she kept walking with him, me leading the way of course.
When we got to the place where I usually went to meet her, the nice lady there told me I couldn't go behind the desk, which surprised me a lot, I was just going to see her dog Gracie, but she didn't want me to, which was unusual, maybe Gracie wasn't well. I'm not sure.
Anyway, she told Mom she'd help her and Mom said thanks. And opened the door, she still had that silly, and I'll say it, chubby, little dog with her. The nice lady actually lifted him into MY car, and Mom didn't say no. He was going in my car with me and my Mom. This was outrageous, absurd, just too much. Then I thought, no, she's just going to take him to someone she knows, she'd done this before, so it was going to be all right. Only she didn't, she took him home with us.
And there he is, laying on the floor, under my table on one of my Mom's blankets, and snoring. Now his name is Max, for short, he's called a Schnauzer or something like that, but I don't know what that is, I know Poodle Dog and Greyhound. Those are the only two types of dogs I recognize, nor a Schnauzer Dog, but he tells me that that's what he is and he's called a “miniature” one. Which means he's not going to get any bigger. He's also six years old, but he seems nice and relatively healthy. He didn't like to play for the first several days, but he's a good barker, although I'm not sure Mom thinks so in the morning when he starts early. But I think he does a good job.
Mom said she wanted a small dog so her parents could have a dog to hold, and I was too big. Not true, I make a very nice lap dog, I sit very nicely and will even lay down in a lap if given a chance, but mom says I'm too big. I just don't see it.
She has promised that I can have a greyhound when we get a bigger yard or get all the stuff out of the garage, but we don't have a yard that can handle a dog my size, the size of a greyhound and that of Max.
Oh, I almost forgot, Mom told me his full name, after much thought is going to be Maxwell Germamya Jones Cali. Now how silly is that? She says his full name really is Maxwell, the poor guy, so she added the rest. I asked if I had an equally silly name, and she assured me that Roux 'b Doux Cali was my full and only name besides some of the other loving names she calls me. She calls Max, short stuff, and little squirt. I think that's funny.
It was my plan to post a picture of him, but as I said in the beginning of the story Mom is being mean and won't hunt for the cable and didn't let me have the laptop early, so I don't have the time to go hunting for it. But I promise I'll get Mom to hunt down the cable thing for her camera tomorrow and post a picture of the silly little dog that's come to live with us, I guess. I wonder if I can convince Mom that he doesn't really fix and that we should get a greyhound instead? Maybe I'll try, but later.
Roux 'b Doux
Perfect Poodle, Pet, & Poster
P.S. I've sleepy because mom made me wait so long to get the laptop so I can't promise that everything is typed properly. Mom still refuses to help.
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